What was your name, little girl?
What’s your name?
Lynyrd Skynrd
I’m often asked if Betty is short for Elizabeth. The ‘Is Betty short for Elizabeth?’ question was a source of conflict on my birth day. My mother wanted my name to be Elizabeth, but my father insisted, “No, her name is Betty. It is not short for Elizabeth.” My father won the argument. Named after my grandmother, Betty serves as a connection between the past and the future God intended me to live. As I entered the world, my heavenly Father spoke over me and declared, “Your name is Betty and you are pledged to Me.”
The significance of names is a major theme in the Scriptures. A name often represented a person’s identity and destiny. There are numerous times in the Bible when God changed a person’s name to shift their way of thinking in another direction. Jacob is a great example. The name ‘Jacob’ is connected to the word heel. His parents named him Jacob because he entered the world with a firm hold on his brother’s heel. For the majority of his life, Jacob grasped for his brother’s inheritance because of a deep rooted desire to be blessed by his father. This pursuit led him away from his true identity and destiny. His life changed one night when he encountered the Angel of the Lord. Engaged in an alnight wrestling match, Jacob refused to release the Angel until he blessed him. Finally, he gave Jacob the blessing he desperately desired. Afterward, the Angel of the Lord changed Jacob’s name to Israel which means ‘wrestle with God.’
In order to walk in my true identity, I too had to wrestle with God.
As a little girl, I gained favor with an older man who rented an apartment from my grandfather. He often made home movies of my siblings and me. One day, he invited me into his apartment to watch one of the movies. He lowered the lights and turned the projector on. I sat in the dark kitchen mesmerized by the motion picture of my brothers, sister, and me. What a thrill to see us on the big screen! A few minutes into the movie I felt his hand on my leg. Before I could react, he unbuttoned my pants and pulled them down around my ankles. Confused and afraid, I sat frozen to the chair. Everything in me screamed, “RUN!” but my body refused to move. I forced myself to focus on the screen and watch sweet little Betty smile into the camera. She played with innocence and freedom as fear, shame, and guilt invaded my soul.
The trauma of years of sexual abuse fueled fear, shame, and guilt until my identity became a complete counterfeit to the one God spoke over me when I was born. It would take an encounter with Jesus to restore me to my true identity instead of the false one created as a response to what happened to me in the dark kitchen. After years of running from the person God designed me to be, I began to deal with the trauma from the past. At times it felt like a wrestling match I was destined to lose, but over time God strengthened and set me free. In His presence, the wounded little girl within me emerged and the painful sobs she held in for so many years were unleashed. Between anguished cries, I confessed the secrets from the dark kitchen…the fear, shame, and guilt of the trauma I held onto for 25 years. When I was done my earthly Father said, “You are my Daughter now it is time to come out of hiding and leave the dark kitchen behind.” The Creator of the universe called me ‘Daughter’ and reminded me of the day I was born when He declared I was vowed to Him. There have been many encounters since then, but nothing as significant as the first time I heard him call me ‘daughter.’ Peace invaded my soul as light invaded the memories of the dark kitchen. God liberated my soul and began to cleanse me of the fear, shame, and guilt. When I’m asked if Betty is short for Elizabeth, I smile. No, it’s short for ‘pledged to God.’
