He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. (Psalm 147:3 NLT)
I wanted to groan when the speaker claimed, “Some wounds will never fully heal this side of heaven.” I glanced around. Did anyone else feel the urge to jump up and walk out?
“But you can experience a deep level of healing from the traumas you endured as a child,” she continued.
I attended that healing conference over twenty-five years ago. As much as I resisted her words in the moment, she was right. Not all my wounds have been healed. But I have found a freedom from the pain of childhood I never thought possible.
Throughout my childhood, I suffered sexual abuse.
For twenty-eight years, the actions of one evil man robbed me of the life I was created to live. His abuse brought fear, guilt, and shame into my life at a young age. He convinced me to stay silent—our “special times together” were our little secret. Every time he led me into that dark kitchen, I was reminded not to tell anyone what happened there. Helpless to make sense of it all, I buried the pain from those traumatic encounters deep within my soul.
My family lived unaware of the predator in our midst. His evil went undetected until I was twenty-eight and began to tell my story.
The consequences of the sexual abuse I endured fifty years ago remain. Even after thirty years of walking the path of healing, there are still dark days. The wounds he inflicted haven’t simply gone away.
Healing from sexual abuse is not a one-time event or a twelve-step program. It’s ongoing. And I’ve come to realize that the speaker was right: I won’t be fully healed until I stand with Jesus in heaven. But here, on earth, I continue to revisit the past and invite Jesus into each traumatic moment, asking Him to bring new light and revelation.
Dan B. Allender writes, “The scars never go away, but their meaning and power grow as new freedom and choice provide access to even deeper understanding.”
As I move further away from the identity of the abused little girl, the fear, guilt, and shame begin to fade. My abuser no longer holds power over me. I am no longer keeping his dirty little secret.
After years of hiding, of trying to forget the evil done to me, I’ve come out of the shadows and discovered: I’m not alone. And I don’t have to figure out the next step of healing by myself. God is guiding me, protecting me, and surrounding me with His unending love.
He has also provided people—safe people—who hold me with the tenderness of the Father when something in the present triggers old pain. They sit with me in the darkness until it fades.
Years ago, I became a counselor because I realized how many others are desperate for someone to guide them through the healing process. They invite me into the darkest moments of their lives. These dear ones have suffered evils that no one should ever experience.
So why would I choose to spend my life listening to stories that mirror my own?
Because there’s a moment—sometimes quiet, sometimes overwhelming—when they encounter the healing presence of God. He meets them in their darkness and reveals His glorious light.
Everything changes when they realize they belong to Abba. Everything changes when they see that He wants to heal and restore their hearts to His original design.
Watching a wounded soul rise from the ashes of hell is, by far, one of the greatest joys I will ever experience on earth.
For this next season, I’m dedicating my blog to the healing journey—specifically, the journey that victims take to become whole. There’s no one-size-fits-all process. But there are principles and pathways that I’ve found helpful on my own journey. No two people are healed in the same way, but every step toward wholeness is an opportunity to draw closer to the One who heals.
Maybe you didn’t experience sexual abuse. I truly hope you didn’t.
But I can guarantee—you know someone who did.
I hope you’ll join me on this journey as we explore the path of healing for the brokenhearted.
A Prayer for the Healing Journey
Father God,
You see the pain buried deep in my soul for so long.
You know every wound, every memory, every silent cry.
I invite You into the hidden places of my heart.
Show me once again, I am not alone.
Show me You were there, even in the darkest moments.
Bring Your healing light into every space fear has tried to occupy.
Thank You for being a God who heals the brokenhearted and binds up every wound.
Lead me gently, Lord. Help me take the next step with You.
Amen.
Reflection Question
Take a few quiet moments and consider:
What part of your story have you kept hidden, and what might it look like to begin inviting God into that space today?
You may want to write it down, talk with a trusted friend or counselor, or simply sit with the Lord and let Him speak to you. He’s aways wait to be invited in.
